I’m trying to stick to my daily blogging routine, but today, I’ll confess, I’m barely up to it. I had different things running through my mind — the JavaKids and I dressed as cows and celebrated Cow Appreciation Day at Chik-fil-A and I thought about writing about the silly things moms do with kids. But about 15 minutes after that, JavaBoy was puking in the parking lot (not b/c of Chik-fil-A) just as I was about to go into my doctor’s appointment for what turned out to be an ear infection. I haven’t been feeling well due to anemia and what I had suspected was an ear infection and basically just came home and crashed for several hours, because JavaDad thankfully swooped in and came and got the kids when I called him with the panicked message of “It’s ten minutes before my doctor’s appointment and our son is puking in the parking lot and I REALLY NEED TO SEE MY DOCTOR.” So he finished out his work day at home, which allowed me to see the doctor, pick up the antibiotics, and go straight to bed.
I have been thinking about Michael Jackson all week, not that I was one of his raving fans, but because of his daughter’s words at the end of the memorial — I keep wondering if he could’ve heard those words and really understood that the drugs he was taking would leave his children essentially orphaned (the whole who-is-the-mother-who-is-the-father mess is too much for me to comprehend) if he would’ve stopped? And why the role of father was not enough. Why did he have to keep chasing the dream of topping Thriller? Was being a father to those three children not “Thriller” enough to stay away from drugs?
But what really has stopped me in my tracks tonight is a tragedy closer to home. The untimely death of another father, the sadness of his daughters, and my heart going out to all who are affected, including my friend, his ex-wife. I don’t know what to say, what to do — Hallmark doesn’t make a card for these situations. All I know is to pray for all of those this week who have suffered great losses — the ones who have hit the headlines, and the ones that have not. I pray for all children who have lost their daddies (or mommies) far too soon, and all family members who are left with the aftermath, stumbling around, trying to make sense of it all.
I don’t know what to say, but my heart is with you.
