Restless Nights

My family has always called me a night owl. My college roommates would concur. My children have actually come in and yelled at me for keeping them awake (or waking them up) by typing in the middle of the night. In my California days, I consulted with a nutritionist who said I had the most whacked out Circadian rhythm she’s ever seen.

I don’t sleep well at night.

There are different types of insomnia, but essentially there’s the kind that means it is hard to get to sleep and the kind where you fall asleep but once you wake up, you can’t go back to sleep. I have both of those. Yeah, it’s a b*$ch. And I’ve had it all my life, as near as I can tell. It gets worse if I am worried or anxious about something. And even worse if I’m sick or having any sort of pain. Pregnancy was a ton of fun!

If I am allowed to, my best hours of sleep are when the world doesn’t want me to — between 7am and 10 am. And my most productive hours are between 10pm and 2am. Not really a terrific schedule for work or a mother. So I cope. And I sleep very little, something I’m used to.

But sometimes my body really rebels and I get virtually no sleep. The clock keeps going by and I watch as it is 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, my mind and body tensing as I know I will be a grouch with no sleep, and yet I know the day is about to start. This week has been one of those weeks.

Over the years I’ve talked to various doctors about it, who sort of shrug their shoulders, tell me to exercise more, cut out caffeine, maybe prescribe a sleeping pill. This is the year I’ve decided I can’t live this way any more. This is the year I’m going to hunt down someone who really understands this kind of a problem and helps me find a better way.

Because I love interacting with all my West Coast friends on Twitter and Facebook in real-time. But I’d love a “normal” night’s sleep more.

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